Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Carol Channing Snack 2

My bro showed me this one.


Heard it at my birthday, the theme of which was apparently "My Childhood. Booze. My Childhood. Booze.". Heard it in the cab home from said party.

Here are the Lyrics; meanwhile, "Somehow, somewhere, a whale is flying over a child." -Rachel Marder

Friday, June 26, 2009

Yay Snack

Things That Are Cool That Happened Today
-I got a one-month unlimited membership to a Latin Dance Studio for 88 cents
-My computer arrived at Ilya's house
-Someone called me Winona Ryder
-Watched some BSB music videos!
-I listened to the Rush:Retrospective CD I got at Virgin for like two dollars.
-I cleaned my room!
-Boops is here in hours, and my birthday party is tomorrow!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


Going to see August: Osage County this afternoon! Then I go straight to work! I feel so busy and excited.

Birthday party this weekend, coupled with a visit from The Boopsie Himself. I can't wait for Ben's debut in lowbrow New York Society.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Another Dream Snack

This one is actually more a nightmare snack:

So I was in this hilly harbor park somewhere along the Pacific with my mom and my brother, and we are walking around, looking at the boats. We notice there are a few rides, like a little mini-water park and some swings and a ferris wheel or so, and we wonder if maybe we've stumbled into some sort of theme park. We round the corner next to the bathrooms and we come upon this giant warehouse, like it looks like an airplane hangar, only one of the four walls is missing so it opens out toward the harbor. Then we see a Tyrannosaurus Rex playing with a girls hair and skipping around. And then it hits us.

It's not a harbor park. It's a Jurassic Park.

There are all these families looking at the T-Rex, taking pictures, musing about it to their spouses, letting their children pet it. It's pretty surreal. I think, I guess they must have found a way to housetrain the T-Rex. Maybe it's evolved from its more hostile '93 model. Sure enough, the T-Rex comes over and nuzzles my shoulder. He breathes on me. I am kind of terrified.

Then something happens, I don't remember, and he turns away from me to some other person and snaps on them. He literally opens his mouth and tries to eat this guy. But the guy, whoever he is, he's a fighter, and he takes the T-Rex's tongue in his hand and rips it out. The T-Rex drops the guy in a momentary fit of pain. The guy runs out of the warehouse. The T-Rex shakes it off and bounds after him.

Mom says, "Okay, we're going to go into the bathroom."

We beat the rush of scared people to the bathroom. There is only one toilet open, and it is not in the stall, it is in an open space next to the sinks and a few plush velvet couches. I have to pee so I do so, and this guy sits next to me on the velvet couches and tells me I'm pretty. I finish peeing, then I throw a water bottle at him and I'm like "Go fuck yourself. and have fun with the dinosaurs."

And he's like, "What dinosaurs?"

By this time, the bathroom is completely crowded. We hear a boom or a crash from outside. Mom and Ben and I run outside to see what's going on, and we see the T-Rex running toward us from around a hill next to the harbor. He runs through the water, onto land and directly past us, toward the parking lot. He is pursued by a fake T-Rex that is powered by a bunch of Jurassic Park employees on thousands of tiny bicycles.

We look out to the harbor, and a bunch of battleships have lined up to fight the dinosaur apocalypse.

Then, we hear a screech from inside the bathroom. I remember that it's probably the raptors because my dream flashes to the movie, when the unseen raptors eat the cow and the cow-strap comes back all magled fabric and bent poles. Mom and Ben and I run toward the entrance/exit.

We pass the water rides, which are now water rides full of dead people. We get a drink from the drinking fountain. The exit is blocked off, probably because they are fighting a T-Rex in the parking lot. But they're still selling tickets to go in, as is evidenced by the new presence of Andie MacDowell, that actress from Groundhog Day, who has just entered the park with her family. She is wearing the same outfit that she was wearing when I saw her on 68th Street like two weeks ago.

I'm like, "Andie MacDowell! You have to get out of here! The dinosaurs are taking over!"

She's like, "What dinosaurs?"

And then we all hear another screech from the bathroom. So we all run. Me, my mom, Ben, Andie MacDowell, her family, we're all running over hilltops, out toward the ocean. Bombs go off. We reach a cliff that has been fenced off. We hear crashes and screeches behind us, fast approaching. The sun begins to set over the water, and it shines over the sea in beams so it looks white, and I notice that all of the boats and sidewalks and harbor houses are entirely white, and then I wake up.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Hometown Snack

I wanted to believe in you and baby I believe it still
Baby I've just had my fill
You love me like a dollar bill
You roll me up and trade me in
And if you have the chance you will
And if you get the chance again
I know you'll do the best you can

But baby love doesn't chage anything at all
I know love doesn't change a thing

FUCK Snack

Literally, days after I commit myself to one Halloween Costume, Brooklyn Vegan reposts this, from 2007:

People Dressed Like Hall and Oates

Dream Snack

Last night, I had a dream:

A lot of my friends were nominated for Grammys: Neisler, Scoville, Ellie, etc. But the Grammy ceremony was shortened to 4 minutes because of budget constraints- one award per minute, and each award had like 20 nominees. I waited for my friends to return from the 4-minute Grammys in my bedroom, which was large and orange and one of the walls was windows that looked out into a shopping mall. Jeff Ward (??) was at the mall with a girl that I sat at C-Brass last night (table 26) and I invited them into my room, and we all did Kevin Khulke impressions. Mine was, "some singers are GOOOD. but some singers are BAAAD." Which in my dream made like everyone laugh but in real life is actually not something Kevin Khulke has ever said.

Then everyone comes back from the Grammys, and we're all of a sudden outside in someone's backyard facing the ocean. We are sitting at giant tables and there is a giant metal structure behind Amy and Scoville. Scoville won every Grammy, Neisler won one, and Ellie won two. Which means that more than one person could win a Grammy. These are exciting times.

A lot of my friends from home are sitting at the tables: Amy, Sunil, AJ, Cammie Pancakes, a bunch of girls from high school named Katie who, in my dream, sit in a clump all together and only talk about getting or being married. Amy's mom comes out of the house with Sharon Osbourne hair and a giant cake. We all cheer and change out of our Grammy dresses. Some guy in late 90s Oakleys mocks Bodega the cat for looking scared when she runs on two legs. The waves crash, the structure makes an afternoon shadow, the wind blows, I wake up.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Liz Taylor Snack


Sat Heidi Klum today with her Sealbabiez at table 33.

You know what that means.

Back at the Brass.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Salad Snack

In the immortal words of Yung-I Chang,

"Love is not a salad bar."

The Snack's the Thing

I started a new play today. There are only three pages of it. The two main characters are Anne St. Mann and Nicholas Beat. So far, nothing really weird happens save for a cat riding a tire swing. I think the play will be a tribute to great friendships between people, or what it's like living in an apartment building full of mice and crazy people, or both.

B.J. Watson is moving to the city.

Anne St. Mann gasps loudly and faints immediately.
Nicholas Beat rolls his eyes.

B.J. Watson was the love of Anne’s life
Back in high school.
He was the guy she would reorganize her between-class-walking path for
In order to get a glimpse of him in the hallway.
On a good day, she would brush his arm.
On a great day, she would make eye contact with him.
The worst days were when she was running late or when he was out sick
Or when he was walking hand-in-hand with Brooke Barnum
Of the Vancouver Barnums,
Heiress to half of the Barnum and Bailey fortune.
I mean, it’s not like a huge fortune, it’s not like she was that little
There Will Be Blood boy.
Just circus money.
But she had great hair.
And B.J. Watson had her digits in his Fave Five.
And Anne had his in hers,
Although I doubt he ever knew it.

Carol Channing Snack

Thank you, A-Farmer.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Truth Snack

And we don't notice any time pass
we don't notice anything
we sit side by side in every class
teacher thinks that I sound funny
but she likes the way you sing

Tonight I'll dream while I'm in bed
when silly thoughts go through my head
about the bugs and alphbet
and when I wake tommorow I'll bet
that you and I will walk together again
cause I can tell that we're going to be friends

Hall and Oate...Meal?????

Halloween costume IDEA #4

Piano Snack

I just finished reading a play called The Harwich Piano. It is a play partially based on real events written by my friend Alex Johnson. I have a lot of questions that I want to ask him. It is a lovely and strange sort of play, with a lot of truth in its bones.

Once, I was toying with a title of a play I wrote. My choices were The Forgetting of Things and The Way It Always Will Be. I asked Alex which of the two he liked better, and he said, "Definitely the first one. The second sounds like the title of a Neil LaBute play."

Your challenge for the day: Overhear a phrase that sounds like a Neil LaBute play. Remember it. Tell it to me sometime. I've started collecting them, although I have no formal catalogue system yet; they are all over the place in this journal and that.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

August Osnack County

So August: Osage County closes literally a week from Sunday. And the crime of the century/year is I have not seen nor read it. Who wants to go with me? Show of hands. Kay.


Starting work today.


Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Snack Wrap

One of many (E pluribus unum) reasons that I'm stoked for my new Macbook and Microsoft Office?


Robert Snackinson

Took a stroll through the new-and-improved Washington Square Park today, and what do I see? Hundreds of screaming girls. Then what do I see? A bunch of Robert Pattinson decoys surrounding a trailer. Then what do I see? The actual Robert Pattinson, walking into the Silver Center to film a non-Twilight movie. He was wearing all black, which was funny, because all of his decoys were dressed in plaid button uppy shirts like the picture above. Not a very thorough job, decoys.

I'm totes into Twilight, which is funny cos I don't normally fall in with many fangirl trends. Actually, that's a total lie. In 6th grade, I wrote a letter to Leonardo DiCaprio that was like "I'm sorry you didn't get nominated for the Oscar for Titanic, but you should be happy to know that my whole homeroom class has a crush on you." Then I had all the girls I knew sign it. And the PS was like "I hope you don't get too involved with drugs" because I was fresh out of the D.A.R.E. program. It got sent back to me because I got his address wrong.

pic via Radar

Snack Meadow

Things I Saw on the Sheep Meadow Today While It Rained and We Picnicked Anyway

rain drops falling
kids playing "butt ball"
a shirtless clan initiation
an old man showing off his fanny pack
a hawk getting attacked by two smaller birds
people having sex under a blanket
a dude watching them from three feet away
another couple dry humping
frisbee, sans pants

"they said it was going to be 'of Biblical Proportions.'"
"yeah! that's what i heard too! that's what it said on weather.com!"

Monday, June 15, 2009

Phil Snackson

Okay Phil. I'm glad that someone custom-made you a nice yellow record-breaker cap, but it is not very becoming.

(thanks NY Daily News)


So I used "Bing" for the first time unwittingly yesterday. I was looking for a flight to Seattle for my friend Sunil's 24th birthday (on the 24th of July. GOLDEN) and I hopped on Amy's favorite travel site, farecaster.com, only to learn that it had been the victim of a hostile Bing takeover. It is now Bing.com/travel. It's pretty sweet. But I felt grimy using it, having been raised a Child of Apple and a Googler of all things great, including myself.

Also, awkward: googling "Bing" in a search for photos like the one above (the guy on the Bing Horizon) will actually bring you a lot of porn. Is it just a coincidence, or are the people at Google having a laugh?

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Chu Snack

So this kid that was on freshman crew for Peter, my quasi-4th year project at NYU, is apparently an up-and-coming New York City fashion icon. Awesome.

pic from The Sartorialist

Friday, June 12, 2009


Last night at Art Underground I wrote "WINO FOREVER" on my arm and it wouldn't come off in my shower.

In the past week, three strangers have told me (upon answering their where-am-i-from queries) that they can hear my Arizona accent. ???

Facebook is broken on my sad computer but I SWEAR next week will begin the age of New Macbook

And it's Willoughby, not Willowz-Bee (or is it?)

One Snack

Tonight, I'm seeing an advance screening of Year One. I am really excited about it, but it's not until 6:45. This means I have to forge against the haze and mist-rain alone until then. And on the cheap!

Things I Might Do in the Mean Time, and On The Cheap!

1. Clean my room. I have a lot of papers and gross mist-rain clothes to deal with.
2. Eat. Yesterday I had half a strawberry crepe, some spinach dip, and morsels of other people's various leftovers (pizza, mac and cheese, pad thai, holla!)
3. Paint something ugly.
4. Write more on my Twitter play, or do some Black Canyon revisos.
5. Jog. PSYCHE! But, for serious, around Jackie O's Reservoir with the moms and the business-men and the other overall grownups? Intriguing.
6. Watch my Netflix, which has been The Last King of Scotland for like three weeks now.
7. Go buy more of those Blue Bottles in Queens. This, however, would mean money. Hm.
8. Set up a Twitter account. Is that free?
9. Read that book. The one on my messy desk!
10. Take a nap. I only fell asleep at 6:30!
11. Write a letter to a deserving friend! Maybe I'll draw a name from a hat.
12. Listen to the weird Russian CDs I found in the street!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Shiny Snack

I have a friend. We'll call her Claire. She's great! She has great taste in Thai food AND teas, which I normally don't like but they've been alright today, and she also makes Tortellini! She is a fan of T things. Today, together, we won Times Square. We got there in the morning and won a show, and then we went onstage in the show, the show called HAIR! And I nuzzled with the face my friend Theo. Then, we won another show, called EXIT THE KING! And that show was a spectacular and wild ride. We met a boy named Geoff afterward, and we double teamed him and his friend Suze with cameras and sharpies. They were both acting in the show and they were both quite skilled. Suze has a dog, and Geoff has great taste in blazers! Then me and Claire basically went on a rampage, shooting pins at the tires of trucks and shouting expletives at tourists and taking lollipops from toddlers. And it was all very cute, just like my life, check it!

i want to take a ride on your disco stick

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Rush Snack

Of the Geoffrey/Student persuasion

Whack Snack

My roommate finished Twilight:New Moon which means we can collectively turn it in to the Rothrock Library and take out Twilight: Eclipse. I have never been more excited for a 12 hour vampire marathon.

I haven't been to Switzerland since I was six. Interesting.

A Haiku
People (People who
need People) are the Lucki
est People in the

I really like making Lists.

Lists I Like
To Do Lists
To Buy Lists
Fun Things to Partake in Lists
Lists of New York Things I will do with my Brother when he Visits Lists
Lists about Lists
Lists about Lisps
Lists that pertain to Life Goals!
Lists of things that make me Giggle
Restaurants to Eat at Lists
Shows I need to Watch Lists
Lists of things to write about
Books to Read
Hours to Sleep
Life to Live
People to Think
Panda Bears

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Knick Snack

If there are two things I love in this world, they would be Fonts and Knick Knacks. I love collecting both. I also collect different words for "Knick Knacks."

Other Words for Knick Knacks

Do you know any more? I would love to have them.

As far as fonts go, a job I would really dig is one that would involve professionally choosing fonts for various projects. Like a "Font Artiste." Like, working in an invitation factory, or starting my own letter-press, or working at the part of a publishing company that actually sets the words on the page.

(As you can see, I haven't actually looked into any real font-related jobs. But I enjoy making them up as I go.)

I also love other things, like cheese, and Twin Peaks. But they deserve posts for themselves.

Also, parading in the rain.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Style Snack

People I Sort of Look Like Right Now

Note: Hair, Shirt, Notebook, Cherub-Face


Note: Hair, Penchant for long-button-dresses

Note: Hair, CrazyFace

Snick for Snack

There couldn't be a movie trailer catered more manipulatively to my liking.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Cheese Snack

I just spent the last four hours alternating between cheese and pork while finishing my play. A reading of it happens on Saturday. You Can Inform Yourself of it Here; I am pretty stoked.

In other news,

These are Things my Boyfriend Doesn't Like Wearing:


Baggy Jeans


In other other news, my computer is really old. And Life is Crazy.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Rocko Snack

someone didn't know what this was. this is what it is