Thursday, May 28, 2009

Chocolate Snacktory

Today I saw a bunch of shows as part of Target Margin's "Theater of Tomorrow" Festival at The Chocolate Factory in Queenz. It was a really awesome night of shows that made me laugh and cry and realize how much I, too, think about fonts. I have been to Queenz a total of like four not-including-LaGuardia times. I think I will go more often. They have a Biergieardien! I didn't go to that. But I did walk around and I happened upon a shop called "Just Things." And I LOVE Things!

I bought a blue bottle that looks like this:

Go See The Shows.

I saw A Family of Perhaps Three and The Stein/Wilder Night.

Alter Ego Snack

I am obsessed with the idea of Chris Gaines

This is from his Wiki Bio:

"Christian Gaines was born 10 August 1967 in Brisbane, Australia to an Olympic swimmer and her coach. He dropped out of high school to form a band called Crush, which released their sole hit, "My Love Tells Me So." After the lead singer died in a plane crash, Gaines went dormant for several years before releasing his first solo album, Straight Jacket, which remained in the Billboard 200 chart for 82 weeks and won four Grammys. Gaines then was involved in a serious car accident in 1992 and required numerous plastic surgeries. He remained reclusive until the release of his last studio album Triangle in 1996."

Some highlights from his Fictional Life Timeline:

1977 - Moved to Los Angeles to live with Mistunori Okubo at the age of 10.

1984 - Decides to quit school his senior year at Morningside High to pursue his music professionally.

1990 - Tragedy strikes again when Chris' father dies in the fall of 1990 after his long battle with cancer. To make matters worse, Haywood, Mississippi town councilwoman Sandy Thompson proclaims Chris "anti-American" based on the vaguely anti-capitalistic lyrics to "Digging for Gold" and starts an "Anti-Gaines" movement that lasts less than a week. Also this year Garth Brooks, a completely unrelated artist, released one of the best selling country albums No Fences.

1992 - Involved in a violent single-car crash that nearly ends his life in winter. Spends six weeks in the hospital and over two years undergoing extensive plastic surgery on his face, shoulder and hands. Will not allow himself to be seen or photographed again until 1996. The first plastic surgeries reportedly leave his face distinctly darker than usual.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

San FranSnack

I was in San Francisco yesterday. I am in New York today! The wonders of modern technology!

Things I Did In San Francisco!
-Went to Union Square!
-Went to an Irish Pub for some Bangers and Mash and Fish and Chips and curry fries n' pints!
-Saw that guy with the rat on top of a cat on top of a dog!
-Went in a fancy hotel and bought a coffee and pranced around!
-Overheard a lot of dramatic conversations! Like, "Emily, I'm going to stay right here until you decide to be FUN."
-Saw the Mufasa of the Sea Lion Pride!
-Ate clam chowder in a frickin sourdough BREADBOWL BITCHES
-Almost got eaten by a pigeon!
-Booed the Giants!
-Went into a Music Box shop and was surprisingly perturbed!

Things I Want To Do In San Francisco But Didn't Get To Do Yesterday
-Ride a bike or run or drive down the windiest road in the world!
-Go to that museum with the fun carnee games!
-Walk the Golden Gate Bridge!
-Buy an Apartment and Probably Live There!
-Escape from Alcatraz!
-Find the place where they filmed the opening credits to Full House!
-Dominate at skateboarding like I did in the San Francisco Level of Tony Hawk ProSkater!
-Boo the Giants in their Ballpark! Or just park a sweet raft in McCovey Cove and catch all the Home Runs and Throw them BACK
-Buy a pound of Ghirardelli for my mouth!

Clubs To Open In San Francisco?
-The San FranDisco?
-The Ciscothèque??
-The San FranSisqó???

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Compare Contrast Snack

My brother thinks that Thom Yorke and Rocko have the same vocal intonation. Judge for yourself:

The Episode with the Sad Crying Clown in an Iron Lung

"Awkward Thom Yorke Interview"


Interesting, that even though I have gained a LEGITIMATE amount of weight since I was 14, a la most normal people, my awkward electric-blue-palm-tree-two-piece-swimsuit from 8th grade is STILL too big on me.

Carter Snack

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Magical Real Snack

I owe a lot to this guy:

Without him, the kinds of things that I write would raise multitudes of skeptic-brows. I don't know much about him, though. There's a whole bunch of links to Marquez interviews and stuff that the Flavorpill people put in my inbox. I am very interested in these! I guess there is a new biography about him by Gerald Martin that just came out. I might pick it up and read it alongside Love in the Time of Cholera, which, like my mother, I still haven't finished.

Other things I have inherited from my mother:
parking skills (read: lack thereof)

Shelley told me about a Steinbeck journal that's half-journal and process notes and half Grapes of Wrath so you read the musings and the final product side-by-side. I am very interested in this also! I am normally a huge fan of really fat books, although I frickin hated Grapes of Frickin Wrath and pretty much everything else by Steinbeck in High School. I might give it another try.

You know what I will never try again? The Scarlet Fucking Letter.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Black Canyon ReadingSnack

Come see the world premiere reading of

Black Canyon City: A History
written by Jaclyn Backhaus
directed by Andrew Neisler

part of the Groundwork Reading Series at breedingground productions' Spring Fever Festival!

"Hunter Wilcox is no scientist, but he spends his nights with tonic bottles and phonographs in the middle of an old mining town, conducting experiments that he hopes will help him solve some odd mysteries. In Black Canyon City, the souls of the dead seek out living ears to tell their stories and living bodies to uncover their best-kept secrets. It’s a place where nothing worthwhile happens ‘til the sun goes down. And down by the fire, things are happening…"

June 6th, 2009
4 pm
The Robert Moss Theatre (nee The Linhart Theatre)
440 Lafayette St. 3rd Floor
across from The Public Theater

Starring: Jessie Barr*, Yung-I Chang, Ellie Famutimi, Matthew R Gehring, Lena Hudson, Michael Lister, David Morris, and Dan Pfau

Tickets are available at

Come out and support breedingground productions and the development of this exciting new project!

*appearing courtesy of Actors' Equity Association.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Daily Snack

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c
Arizona State Snubs Obama
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Economic CrisisPolitical Humor

These Are Shaqs

Shaq Twitters

"just saw 17 again, the premise was zach frm hi school musical wanted to be 17 again, I dnt wanna be 17 again, I'm already 17, I lied I'm 13"

"I'm experiencing my first hail storm, ouch sounds like a bunch of rocks falling out of the sky, Run aaaaaaaaghgn run aaaaaaaagh I'm scared"

"Hey brett favre, dnt retire bro, retire when I retire in 4 yrs, and o yea I will sack u , keep playin You are legend"

"@IfShaqWere if I knew your mother, I'm probably your father, your photoshop skillz r terrible"

"Just got dat underwater ipod adaption device jammy so I can hear music unda water, I b aqua jammin, Waaaa Waaa Shaq-mu The quilla Whale"

Monday, May 11, 2009

Home Snack

Putting things in a suitcase! I will be in the Valley of the Sun tomorrow!

Trackback Snack

Cos DCP told me to.

Headshot Snack

Getting my headshots done today!

With any luck, they'll turn out like this:

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Button Snack

So Scoville wanted me to find out more about that Button Factory song because he was too lazy to do it himself. You know that song? It's like "Hello, my name is Joe and I work at a Button Factory." You probably learned it in like second grade during that weird art/music/p.e. period that may or may not have occurred before morning recess (Shout out to you, Booker T. Washington Elementary!! What up, Principal Hamilton?!?!). Or at Girl Scout camp, around a giant bonfire or in the mess hall right before each Troop showed their weird skits and probably after we all made those American Flags out of red, clear, and blue beads.

I guess some people named Peter and Ellen Allard wrote it. It's available on a website, to download! People, Teachers, and Summer Camps use it for teaching. I know this because it is listed on such dynamite databases as "" and ""

These Are The Lyrics

As you can see, the song conducts one singular revolution of the appendages. Its syncopated rhythm implies blah blah blah analysis blah.

Here is a link to listen to the song

I am a big fan of buttons. I used to collect them when I found them in the street, on the playground, on the floor at Fiesta Mall. I would buy weird ones at the craft store shaped like ducks or trains. Then I strung a bunch of them up on a string and hung it over the window in my room.

This was the beginning of my penchant for collecting odd knickknacks.

Some of the things I have found and kept recently
-A hologrammed Happy Feet bookmark (on the stairs of the subway)
-A weird old round-dial pay phone (cleaning out the Robert Moss nee Linhart Theater)
-An old watch I used to play with as a kid (a pouch under my bed during the neverending organization of the random shit in my room)

I think I would like to work in a Button Factory.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Seal Snack

So apparently? I have more than one Seal song on my iPod? I was hankering for some "Kiss From a Rose" and then I iPodded Seal and found like two other songs that I have never heard of. Maybe they were free with my iPodian purchase?

Seal was my very first concert! In 1995, a Hard Rock Cafe opened in Phoenix and they had a free concert and he headlined. It was an exciting time in my life, for Batman Forever had just wowed my 9-year-old world.

Other kinds of Seals:

Navy Seals

Baby Seals

Baby Sealz

Navy Sealz?



I have a play to write!

And I'm not writing it!

The first read-through is on Sunday. We have just secured the cast and it's going up as part of the breedingground Spring Fever Festival. It's part of their Groundworks Series, or plays-that-need-development-and-readings. It's happening at The Robert Moss Theater, nee Linhart. On June 6th.

I am very honored to be one of the puzzle pieces of this Fest!

In other news, I am going home next week to see this guy

Speak for these kids

And! Then I get to see my Boopsie Brother graduate high school! Watch for him on this show next week:

Finally, Fresh Ground Pepper, the new works series I co-founded, got a plug on BACKSTAGE.COM! Thanks Preston! I am seeing your show on Sunday!