Halloweiner Snack

This Halloween, I went dressed as A GIANT DICK. Just kidding! I had to work coat check for a party at my job and I had to be on a plane for some hours earlier in the day, so my costume-fashioning time was limited. There was a baby on the plane who was wearing a little skeleton costume and shoes that said BOO. He often squealed but I was surprised to find it quite endearing! Maybe you're like, oh sheesh, she's a girl, blah blah Biological Clock. One thing I hate is when women talk about their "biological clock." Actually, I don't hate it so much as I think it's annoying that the phrase "biological clock" is often accompanied by a knowing nudge or roll of the eyes. "My biological clock sure is ticking. Am I right, ladies?" Chortle chortle emphatic eyebrow NOD! Seriously, Ladies, am I right or am I RIGHT?

So for Halloween I had a bouquet of grapes, which was fun, and a hat. Laura was a giant martini. I also had like white stockings and black lacey boots and a funny smocky dress, so in my mind I was if Wednesday Addams was the girl in The Secret Garden if The Secret Garden took place in Italy rather than the moors of weird England. But that took too long to explain to the girls who went as sexy blah blahs and needed me to check their coats for them.

While I was home, I hung out with my broseph, Boopsie, who has the same hair and general catalogue of stances that I do. We had wings with another set of siblings, the Petruseks, who should have a techno side thing called PetruSexxx, and who resemble each other in hair, gait, and demeanor. The four of us together make up a combination so potent that if we turn on each other it will be like some Hatfield v. McCoy type SHIT, but since we all dig each other's vibes and smell what we are collectively cooking, it's a pretty sweet set up like generally you know?

My friend Amy bought a dog that looks and acts a lot like me, so hopefully the Petruseks have a best friend who has a dog that looks and acts a lot like them, or else Boops and I are one-up on those guys. Game, set, MATCH.

On a harmonious note,
Some things happened on this trip home that really warmed my heart and brought me joy. The past month or so has been BUSY and stressful sometimes! But it also is a dream, just a dream. Everyone be safe and healthy and joyous. Yeah, I just got serious, seriouser than Dicks and PetruSexxx, in any case. But you may forget how lucky we are to live, and laugh, and love others, and tell others you love them, and taste cheese, and read a good sentence, and take a deep breath and let it out again, and giggle aloud at private thoughts, and shamelessly hit on your waiter, and do Cher impersonations, and drink refills of Pink Lemonade FOR FREE, and quote Casablanca with your mom inside Banana Republic while trying on a very trenchy trenchcoat, and feel your best friend's mom's boobs, and eat part of your balanced dorm breakfast, and sing, and read old yearbook quotes aloud only to realize that you've pretty sharply predicted the future. See people you haven't seen in five years. Play with their kids. See where you've all gone, know that you're all going so much farther. Wonder why you have more than two friends moving to Lincoln, Nebraska. Listen to Howard Stern with Dad, listen to Oma's stories about her Oma, fall asleep on the couch in the living room in clothes.