This one is actually more a nightmare snack:
So I was in this hilly harbor park somewhere along the Pacific with my mom and my brother, and we are walking around, looking at the boats. We notice there are a few rides, like a little mini-water park and some swings and a ferris wheel or so, and we wonder if maybe we've stumbled into some sort of theme park. We round the corner next to the bathrooms and we come upon this giant warehouse, like it looks like an airplane hangar, only one of the four walls is missing so it opens out toward the harbor. Then we see a Tyrannosaurus Rex playing with a girls hair and skipping around. And then it hits us.
It's not a harbor park. It's a Jurassic Park.
There are all these families looking at the T-Rex, taking pictures, musing about it to their spouses, letting their children pet it. It's pretty surreal. I think, I guess they must have found a way to housetrain the T-Rex. Maybe it's evolved from its more hostile '93 model. Sure enough, the T-Rex comes over and nuzzles my shoulder. He breathes on me. I am kind of terrified.
Then something happens, I don't remember, and he turns away from me to some other person and snaps on them. He literally opens his mouth and tries to eat this guy. But the guy, whoever he is, he's a fighter, and he takes the T-Rex's tongue in his hand and rips it out. The T-Rex drops the guy in a momentary fit of pain. The guy runs out of the warehouse. The T-Rex shakes it off and bounds after him.
Mom says, "Okay, we're going to go into the bathroom."
We beat the rush of scared people to the bathroom. There is only one toilet open, and it is not in the stall, it is in an open space next to the sinks and a few plush velvet couches. I have to pee so I do so, and this guy sits next to me on the velvet couches and tells me I'm pretty. I finish peeing, then I throw a water bottle at him and I'm like "Go fuck yourself. and have fun with the dinosaurs."
And he's like, "What dinosaurs?"
By this time, the bathroom is completely crowded. We hear a boom or a crash from outside. Mom and Ben and I run outside to see what's going on, and we see the T-Rex running toward us from around a hill next to the harbor. He runs through the water, onto land and directly past us, toward the parking lot. He is pursued by a fake T-Rex that is powered by a bunch of Jurassic Park employees on thousands of tiny bicycles.
We look out to the harbor, and a bunch of battleships have lined up to fight the dinosaur apocalypse.
Then, we hear a screech from inside the bathroom. I remember that it's probably the raptors because my dream flashes to the movie, when the unseen raptors eat the cow and the cow-strap comes back all magled fabric and bent poles. Mom and Ben and I run toward the entrance/exit.
We pass the water rides, which are now water rides full of dead people. We get a drink from the drinking fountain. The exit is blocked off, probably because they are fighting a T-Rex in the parking lot. But they're still selling tickets to go in, as is evidenced by the new presence of Andie MacDowell, that actress from
Groundhog Day, who has just entered the park with her family. She is wearing the same outfit that she was wearing when I saw her on 68th Street like two weeks ago.
I'm like, "Andie MacDowell! You have to get out of here! The dinosaurs are taking over!"
She's like, "What dinosaurs?"
And then we all hear another screech from the bathroom. So we all run. Me, my mom, Ben, Andie MacDowell, her family, we're all running over hilltops, out toward the ocean. Bombs go off. We reach a cliff that has been fenced off. We hear crashes and screeches behind us, fast approaching. The sun begins to set over the water, and it shines over the sea in beams so it looks white, and I notice that all of the boats and sidewalks and harbor houses are entirely white, and then I wake up.
